Oh boy, here we go—a Tesla owner, a smug Mercedes driver, Elon Musk, and a parking lot showdown. You couldn’t script this better if you tried. But let’s break this down, because buried in this saga of bumper stickers and unsolicited parking lot opinions is a much bigger story about identity, consumerism, and the absolute chaos of our current cultural moment.
First, let’s set the stage. Our protagonist buys a Tesla Model 3 five years ago—not because of Musk, but because the Volkswagen salesman decided to give an impromptu TED Talk on wealth distribution in West Hollywood. Fair enough. Our Tesla driver clicks a few buttons, buys the car online like it’s an iPad, and enjoys five years of smooth, carbon-efficient driving.
A Tesla Model Y owner in Portland had this note taped on their vehicle by a neighbor 🤣 pic.twitter.com/y500R9eB55
— Nic Cruz Patane (@niccruzpatane) December 22, 2024
Enter: the Mercedes driver. A man so overflowing with self-righteousness he feels compelled to verbally accost a stranger in a parking lot. “Why are you driving that thing? You should drive it off a cliff!” Cool, bro. Very normal. Very helpful.
But here’s the thing—this isn’t really about Tesla. It’s not even about Elon Musk. It’s about the strange new battleground of identity politics: identity consumerism.
We used to vote at the ballot box. Now we vote with our wallets, our shopping carts, our streaming services, and yes, our cars. Every purchase has become a political statement. Buy Chick-fil-A? You’re making a statement. Buy Ben & Jerry’s? That’s a statement too. You can’t even drink a Bud Light these days without half the country ready to fight you at a barbecue.
And now Tesla is caught in the crossfire.
See, when Tesla first rolled off the line, it wasn’t just a car—it was a badge of honor for environmentally-conscious progressives. It screamed, “Look at me! I care about the planet, and I have a tech-forward vision of the future!” But then Musk started tweeting. And buying Twitter. And jumping into political debates with the grace of a rhino in a china shop. Suddenly, owning a Tesla became complicated.
But here’s where it gets tricky. Musk might be polarizing, but Tesla remains the gold standard for electric vehicles. Its innovation, battery technology, and sheer dominance in the EV market are undeniable. And yet, for some people, the guy in the driver’s seat of the company is enough to make them swear off the car altogether.
So, what’s our Tesla owner supposed to do? Sell the car? Trade it in for a Hyundai Ioniq or a Lucid Air? Sure, those are fine cars. But let’s be clear: you shouldn’t make any of those decisions because of some self-righteous busybody in a Mercedes who thinks he’s the moral authority on car brands.
And speaking of Mercedes—oh, buddy, you wanna talk about moral high ground? Daimler-Benz, the parent company of Mercedes, has a very public and well-documented history of using forced labor during World War II. It’s right there in the corporate archives. And yet, here’s this guy in his shiny convertible, ready to lecture a Tesla owner about ethics. The irony is so thick you could spread it on toast.
The reality is this: there is no such thing as a morally perfect purchase. Every company, every product, every brand has some skeleton in its closet, whether it’s environmental impact, exploitative labor practices, or political entanglements. If you dig deep enough, you’ll find something.
But let’s not lose the plot here. Owning a Tesla isn’t an endorsement of Musk’s tweets any more than owning an iPhone is an endorsement of Foxconn’s labor conditions. You bought a car because it’s a good car. Because it’s reliable, innovative, and serves your needs. End of story.
If one guy in a parking lot is enough to make you question that decision, then we’ve got bigger problems. Here’s some advice: next time someone tries to shame you for your car choice, smile, give them a wave, and drive off into the sunset in silent, electric-powered peace.
Look, if you eventually decide to switch to another brand because you genuinely don’t want to support Tesla anymore—that’s your prerogative. Vote with your wallet. That’s the beauty of a free market. But don’t let one loudmouth in a Mercedes—or any Twitter hot take—bully you into it.
At the end of the day, we’ve got bigger things to worry about than whose car aligns with whose politics. Drive what you love. Be confident in your choices. And most importantly, don’t let some parking lot philosopher ruin your day.
