Well, folks, it looks like Prince Andrew might finally have found a royal court where he’s still welcome—and it’s not under the gloomy skies of Britain. No, the Duke of York appears to be eyeing a more sun-soaked throne in Abu Dhabi, courtesy of the UAE’s ruling elite. And honestly, it’s hard to imagine a more fitting stage for this never-ending royal soap opera.
Let’s set the scene: Prince Andrew, once a senior member of the British royal family, has now been reduced to a diplomatic pariah and a tabloid punchline. Booted from official duties after that disastrous BBC interview about his ties to the late Jeffrey Epstein, Andrew has spent the last few years alternating between low-profile public appearances and quiet luxuries funded by, well… let’s just say, “unconventional revenue streams.”
Enter Andrew Lownie, a royal historian who’s been peeling back the gilded wallpaper on Andrew’s finances for years. In his upcoming book, Entitled: The Controversial Lives of the Duke and Duchess of York, Lownie drops a bombshell: Prince Andrew reportedly has “exclusive access” to a fully staffed private palace in Abu Dhabi. No ownership papers in his name, of course—this is a loaner from the House of Nahyan. The arrangement costs the UAE practically nothing, and in return, they get to play host to a royal who’s no longer welcome at Sandringham Christmas dinners.
Now, why Abu Dhabi? Lownie lays it out plain: good weather, deference, golf courses, and, perhaps most importantly, zero scrutiny. In Abu Dhabi, Andrew can continue his “business affairs” (whatever those might entail) far from the prying eyes of the British press. And, let’s not forget, he’s not entirely alone out there. His daughters, Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie, along with his ex-wife, Sarah Ferguson, have reportedly been spending quite a bit of time in the region too.
But before we start picturing Andrew sipping mocktails by an infinity pool in the desert, let’s revisit Yang Tengbo, the alleged Chinese spy who reportedly described Andrew as “in a desperate situation and will grab on to anything.” Yang had ties to Pitch@Palace, Andrew’s pet initiative that netted him a 2% cut of investment deals. The revelations about Yang raise red flags—not just about Andrew’s judgment (or lack thereof)—but about the national security implications of a royal cozying up to someone with “Made in Beijing” stamped all over their business card.
Of course, this isn’t Andrew’s first time playing fast and loose with foreign money. Remember the £1.4 million funneled to him, Fergie, and their daughters by alleged fraudster Selman Turk? Or how about the eyebrow-raising sale of his former home, Sunninghill Park, to the son-in-law of Kazakhstan’s then-president for £3 million above asking price? The house was later torn down, rebuilt, and… left empty. Classic Andrew.
And just when you think the scandal couldn’t get juicier, former British minister Norman Baker weighs in. His take? Andrew isn’t some unique anomaly in the royal family—he’s just “more clumsy and stupid about it.” According to Baker, the entire royal institution has a habit of cozying up to questionable foreign donors and regimes; Andrew just does it with all the subtlety of a man wearing clown shoes at a black-tie event.
Let’s not forget King Charles III and those infamous Fortnum & Mason bags stuffed with cash from an overseas donor. Charles, of course, managed to walk away from that scandal with nothing more than some mild embarrassment and a “nothing to see here” wave of the royal hand. Andrew? Not so lucky.
So what happens next? If Andrew does make the leap to Abu Dhabi permanently, he’ll find himself in familiar company. After all, Spain’s disgraced former King Juan Carlos has been living there since 2020 after fleeing his own corruption scandal. The Middle East seems to be emerging as the go-to exile destination for fallen royals—the Club Med for monarchs in disgrace.
But let’s not kid ourselves—this isn’t just about a pampered prince seeking refuge in the desert. The real question is this: What does Abu Dhabi get in return for hosting Andrew? Is it just about prestige and bragging rights, or are there strings attached to this gilded hospitality? And how long can Andrew realistically keep his head down and avoid scandal when he’s proven time and again to have the subtlety of a bull in a china shop?
One thing’s for sure: the British public won’t be shedding any tears if Andrew does decide to swap Buckingham Palace for a private palace in Abu Dhabi. In fact, there might just be a collective sigh of relief.
